How to be independent in a relationship

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By Winner Onyinye

Our world is experiencing a tornado and young people are expressing their discontent and the last thing you want is to be in a relationship with a dependent person. Most times, they don’t seem to be good at anything on their own. Other times, they act like they’ve seen more hell than every other creature, always drowning and constantly in need of a life jacket. In the actual sense, no one who genuinely loves their partner would have them dependent on them. So if this seems familiar, then here is how to be independent in a relationship.

First, as a single person, while you fantasize about your dreamland and the best life you would have if only your partner were present, you also have to create a space in your mind for you and how you can have the best life by yourself.

Take out time to inhale the scent of your own soul. You can also escape into your imaginations and pull from it simple pleasures that bring you joy. In my opinion, this is the mindset that prepares you for a relationship where you can be independent.

There is no doubt that you share an interest with your partner, and you should actually. The impact of being in a relationship is expected to be more, simply because more hands on deck get the job done easily, but this should be not rid you of your self confidence.

Having confidence in yourself in a relationship because of what you bring to the table, and at the same time sustaining a level of confidence in each other makes you independent.

Society dictates that women, in every walk of life, are expected to depend on men. The idea of a woman submitting to her man, probably because of social constructs existing, is understood, but it has nothing to do with the amount of value a woman can wield.

Going after your dreams no matter what it is you love makes you independent and having a partner who supports you would be the highlight of your entire life.

So chase your dreams, take time to do your personal things as individuals while showing interest in your other half and cheering them on. After all, you still have each other and that is most important.

Spend time with other humans too! Prior to meeting your partner, you had people around you, so don’t suddenly act as if they all died in one night.

Your partner is not the only one on the planet. And even though we literally say so, I mean, “don’t you see me?” Take adventures that do not involve the both of you alone, and even explore alone sometimes.

Actually, you don’t have to move into your partner’s house if it is not necessary. Better still, get yourself a house so you can have some alone time to yourself! Tell yourself, “You aren’t desperate and act like it.”

People who depend on their partner sometimes do so because they found their partner loves them more than they ever loved themselves. This tends to affect the relationship if things start to go sour because, in the long run, there are chances of being taken for granted, abused, and worse, others don’t even make it alive. When you love yourself, you save your life and make it easier for everyone who would ever come around you.

Heal from your past, expel every guilt, love yourself, and be open to receiving genuine love. Nobody can beat that!

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