My ex wants to marry me

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When Elvis was coming around in those days, I thought he was dating my elder sister. They were schoolmates at the University and I was in high school then. Elvis would come around the house to look for my sister and they’d talk all evening. My sister completed school and didn’t come to town again. Elvis came around to look for her and I told him: “You have a phone. Why don’t you call her? She lives in Accra now.” He left and came back days later. He didn’t come to look for my sister. He came to look for me. When we were alone, he proposed to me. 

“How about my sister? What happened between you two that you now want me?” 

“We were just friends, you can ask her. I came here often because I wanted to see you, not her. That’s the truth.” 

I was around eighteen years but I knew what it took to love someone purely. I believed him and said yes to him. I remember bragging to my friends: “My boyfriend is a graduate. What do you girls have? Chop box boyfriends?” 

That same year, I wrote my final exams and completed school. Once school was over, I dedicated all my days to Elvis. When I woke up in the morning, it was Elvis I thought about. I would go to his house and would not go back home until my mom sent for me. My mom got angry at some point and went to warn Elvis to stay off me. That didn’t work. We met when my mother was out of the house. What I experienced with Elvis was the truth. I was just a girl who had nothing to hide. I loved him truly and he did too but once my mom found out about us, she tried all she could to separate us. She sent me away to live with my aunt in Wa. I didn’t have a phone but I made Elvis write his number on a piece of paper for me. When I got to Wa, I used my aunt’s phone to call him. I was happy talking to him and he promised he would travel to Wa to come and see me. I believed him. I knew he would, because he loved me that much. 

Once my aunt got to know about him and me, she stopped me from using her phone. Elvis couldn’t call me but with time, I learned to call him each day with whoever’s phone I laid my hands on. It was hard but I tried. A couple of months later, I gave up trying. That was when we started losing touch. My results came, I didn’t go back home. My aunt looked for admission for me in Wa Polytechnic. That was around 2011.

I made new friends, had a new boyfriend and moved on with my life. The thought of Elvis slowly disappeared from my mind. Once in a while when I spoke with old friends who knew Elvis, I asked them about him. One day someone told me she heard Elvis had travelled abroad. The little thought I had about him also disappeared because there was no way back for the two of us. 

In life, we don’t say “never” but I said it. “Never would I see him again.” I was wrong. In 2021, I saw him on Facebook. I tapped on his profile and went through his photos. He was still Elvis but this Elvis was new. He had a beard and bushy hair. He looked rich. He was a man. I said in my head: “Abrokyire has really been good to this man.” I didn’t just say it. I sent it to him on Messenger. Days later, he responded. He asked for my number and I sent it to him. He called immediately and it was all about our childhood once again. How I stopped calling and how he didn’t try to look for me. 

“What’s up with you now? Are you married?” he asked me.  “I’m not married but I’ve been through life and back. I have a three year-old daughter. It’s a long story. What about you? Married with kids?” “Yes, I got married last year – a few months before Covid. The pressure on me was too much so I married a woman my parents showed me. Where were you all these years?”

We talked about his marriage extensively and everything showed he was not happy about it. “Why did you do it when you knew you were not happy?”

You know men. I thought he was lying to me but talking every day about it revealed the huge hole in his heart. He left the woman in Ghana and went back with the promise of coming for her very soon. He told me: “She knows I’m doing everything to bring her here because I tell her every day that I’m close to getting her papers but the truth is, I haven’t started. I have doubts. I don’t know if I want her here with me. If I knew you’ll come along very soon, I would have waited for you.”

That’s where it started – the resurrection of dead love. Or you can call it the rekindling of old love. I told him not to say that but he screamed: “I’m telling you the truth. There’s an unfinished business between you and me. There’s a score to settle and this is a perfect time. I want you back.” I wanted him back too but he was married. I reminded him every day of his vow to his wife but he kept telling me it meant nothing. We were on a video call one day when he said: “Be honest with me. Don’t you like me again? Isn’t there a flicker of love left in your heart for me?”  “Elvis, I still love you. I would have said ‘yes’ to you in a heartbeat if I met you single but you’re married. Your marriage is still fresh. Of what use would I be to you? Think about it.”

That day he went all in. As if he planned everything and planned to do it on a video call. He told me: “If you agree to be with me, I will start working on your papers as soon as possible. You’ll come here and stay with me. Once my marriage is two years old, I will look for a reason, any reason at all and file for a divorce so I can marry you. You and your daughter will live here with me and we’ll start a family of our own.” 

I was looking at his face. He wasn’t smiling. There was no smirk on to suggest he was joking with me. I accepted his proposal and love started between us again.  He sent me money to pay my child’s school fees. He renewed my rent for me not long ago. He started processing my papers to travel to him but my heart was heavy. Whenever I thought about the woman he married and what we were doing behind her back, it broke my heart a little. I felt I was stealing what was not mine. I felt I was becoming the stumbling block Jesus spoke about and it worried me so much. 

I prayed about it. I talked to friends about it. The answers were not clear. They said I should relax for him to take me abroad. Once I got there, I should break up with him and tell him to concentrate on his wife.

But I couldn’t do that to Elvis. 

To me, it had nothing to do with going abroad. It had everything to do with Elvis and the love I have for him. Once I got there and I lived with him, there would be no turning back. I lost him once and I would not allow it to happen twice. But my conscience won’t allow calm into my heart. I’m putting it here to also get advice from you. What do I do? I want Elvis. I want the life he has promised me. I like the kind of future he’s proposing but it doesn’t come with no strings attached. I feel like even if I say no, he’ll go in for another woman once there’s proof that he doesn’t like the woman he married. What should I do? 


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