He kept me at the centre of his dreams

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I met him when I was entering the hospital with my mother. It was a huge hospital and I didn’t know where to go. So, I greeted him and asked him where to start. He pointed in a direction and said I should go left and turn right and go straight. I did exactly that and got to the reception where the nurse there took over. After checking my mother’s BP and creating a file for her, we were directed to a section where the queue was massive. While we sat and waited for our turn, I saw him pass by. He saw us but didn’t say anything. He went in and came back again and signalled me to come. He said to me: “I’ve spoken to a nurse and she’ll attend to you very soon so carry your mom and follow me.” I was grateful. I felt special. I followed him down a corridor, got to a door and he knocked. The nurse came out. When she saw us she asked: “Oh, these are your people?” He nodded. The nurse took us in and opened the backdoor for us to meet the doctor. Within fifteen minutes, we had finished seeing the doctor and were on our way to the dispensary. Again, he appeared. He pulled some strings and we were served first.

He mentioned his name as Paul. He said he was a junior doctor. He looked very clean, like someone who takes himself very seriously so I wasn’t surprised to know that he was a doctor. We exchanged numbers and I left with my mother. In the car going home, my mom said: “The young doctor likes you. It’s the only reason he’d stop whatever he was doing to ensure we get special treatment.” I answered: “How can he like me when he doesn’t even know me?” My mom replied: “How can he not like you and still do all that for us, total strangers? Be nice when he calls. He looks like a man with a good heart and he’s a doctor too.”

He called and we became friends. He asked about my mom’s health every day so one day I gave the phone to my mom and they had a conversation. Come and see my mom, doing all she could to invite this gentleman to come and visit us. “When you see me, you’ll know if indeed the medicine given to me is working. It’s slow. Today I feel good but tomorrow I would be down again,” she told him. 

He came to visit one day and I knew it was love that pushed him that far because from the hospital to our house was quite a journey. My mom made him feel like the messiah. I did my best to let him know I appreciated his effort that day and was happy he came to see us. After a month or two, we became an item. It was too obvious he liked me so I saw the proposal coming. Even before he said anything, my mom was always on me asking me: “Hasn’t he proposed to you? Or he has said it and you’re playing hard to get? He’s a doctor ooo, don’t be a silly girl and lose him.”

Mother and daughter

The fact that he was a doctor played a role but when we became lovers and I got to know the kind of person he was, being a doctor became a bonus. He was so down to earth that he would do everything to make me happy. He lived in a very small place but his presence in the place made it look bigger than it was. I would go to him on weekends, cook for him and help him do his laundry. He won’t sit and watch me do it. He would be around me, helping me all the way.

He kept me at the centre of his dreams. Our relationship became the foundation on which he built his life. You should hear him talk about the future–our future and you’ll fall in love with him over and over again. “You see, this place is not meant for our future. It’s too small. I will one day become a full doctor and the money will start coming. We’ll relocate to a beautiful place where our love deserves to grow. It’s just a matter of time, you wait and see.” His dreams were beautiful but he didn’t have the money to support them. I was the one providing. If I had to cook for him, I had to use my money. If I had to buy something for his house, I had to pay. His gas got finished and he called to tell me. I was even paying for electricity sometimes. What’s love got to do with it? Everything. I loved him for who he was to me and I loved him for the man he would become in future so I was ready to help, to see him thrive, to see him grow so someday I become the one person who was there for him when he had nothing. Even my mom encouraged me. She supported my decisions when it came to our relationship.

My friend’s father got sick and was sent to the hospital. She knew my boyfriend and knew he worked at the hospital. So, she called one day and asked me to call Paul to help her get through the queues. Unfortunately, Paul wasn’t on duty that day. When I called him, he said he had gone to the campus to pursue a document he was working on. My friend’s father was admitted for three days but unfortunately, he died.

Days later my friend called me: “Are you sure about Paul and what his work is?” I answered: “Yeah. He’s a junior doctor. Why do you ask?” He asked me: “What does a junior doctor do at the hospital?” I answered: “He’s also a doctor but not a fully grown doctor. Why all these questions?” She told me: “I’m at the mortuary to see my dad’s body. He was the one who brought my dad’s body out. I’m not far from him. I’ll send you a photo.” She said she was sending a photo but she sent me a two-minute video. Paul was wearing his hospital rug with an apron on it. He was wearing long gloves while standing close to the cart the body was on and giving them information. From the video, it was clear what his job really was. I broke down. I was shattered. The one person I trusted so much and loved with everything in me decided to hide who he really was from me.

Close to the cart

I didn’t want to talk to him on the phone. I met him in the house. I showed him the video and he got deflated. For several minutes, he couldn’t talk. He kept rubbing his face with his cupped palms. “Ehmm, I was thinking of how to tell you but I knew I would lose you so I didn’t know how to go about it.” I told him: “Good. I found out myself. You’ve lost me. I don’t know what else you’re hiding. Is your name really Paul? Are you sure you told me your real name?” My heart was broken but the one whose heart I didn’t want to break was my mother. She had high hopes in him that he started spreading the news that I was dating a doctor. So I told Paul: “You can’t tell my mom anything for now. She’s fragile. Don’t try to get her to say something for you. She’ll break down if she gets to hear this news.”

He begged me to stay. He told me he was working his way out of the mortuary. He made lofty promises just to get my attention again. I told him: “It’s not about what you do. The way you helped me at the hospital that day if you told me what your work was, I still would have found you worthy of my love. I fell in love with your kind heart first before anything else. My mom too, but you lied. I don’t think I can ever trust you again.” 

For about a month we hadn’t been amicable with each other. He tried to get back into my life. I kept pushing him away. I told him he had become to me what those dead bodies were to him. Worthless. So he should let me be.

My mom was getting the hint. She was no fool. She wasn’t hearing from him and wasn’t seeing him around so she started asking questions. I told her the truth. “He’s not a doctor. He works on dead bodies at the mortuary. He lied.” The question she asked was: “But how can Paul hide such a thing from us? I thought he was a good man. And he thought you won’t find out? Then he didn’t plan to have you for a long term because a man’s job can’t stay hidden for a very long time.”

I thought my mom would be hurt but she was just fine. She told me it happens so I should move on. She’s the one encouraging me to stay strong, telling me I was still young and that love would find me again. The kind of love that had nothing to hide. I believed her. Paul is dead to me. He’s now in my mortuary, where I keep the dead stories of my ex this and ex that.

Courtesy Beads Media

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