I was sixteen when we started dating. He was twenty-four then. I never went to his room. We only met in a dark spot at night to talk and occasionally kissed. A year later, he left town for military training and I stopped hearing from him. That’s how the relationship ended.
Three years later, we reconnected on Facebook and rekindled our love. This time around, I did not keep our relationship a secret. Everyone in my life knew about him. I was no longer a lovestruck teenager who hid in the shadows with her boyfriend. I had grown into a woman who was in a serious relationship.
While I stayed away from men in the three years we were apart, he admitted that he went into three relationships when he returned from training. All of them cheated on me. That’s why I left them. One of them even has a baby for me but I can’t marry a woman who is unfaithful.
Because of his past experiences, I vowed never to let him down. Three years into the relationship, everything continued to be great. I never wronged him and he never wronged me too. The only thing that bothered me was that we had been having intimacy for all those years yet I never for once got pregnant.
I wanted to find out if everything was okay so I went to the hospital to do some tests. I found out that I couldn’t conceive due to some infections which had affected my womb. When I broke the news to Richard, he didn’t care. He rather took liberties with protection. He was always on top of me, filling my womb with his seed.
A year later, I got pregnant. Although I was not ready to be a mother, I was happy. My parents and siblings were also happy about the news. The only person who wasn’t happy was my man. He told me, if I knew what was good, I would get rid of the pregnancy. If not, I would never like him.
He said he had a child already so he wasn’t ready to father two kids at that moment. He called me to meet a doctor friend of his so he would do the procedure for me, but I refused. That was when I experienced the beast he hid from me all those years.
The hell this guy made me go through was unspeakable. I was absolutely traumatized. He made my life a living hell. I never knew he had it in him to insult me to the extent that I would lose my self-esteem. I cried day and night.
It got to a point where he started jumping from one woman to the other. Even his baby mama was part. He kept me updated on his adventures by sending me videos of himself and the girls. When I was due to deliver, he said, he wished the baby and I would die in labour. Is this how the world is? Is this how sour love can turn?
We never had a peaceful conversation from the moment I discovered I was pregnant till my son turned two years old. He was taking care of the boy, alright. But he was cruel to me. I lost interest in any man who came my way. It took a lot of persistence to heal my heart from what he did. When my son turned two, I relocated, got a job, and started earning some money to take care of myself and my son. He only sent money when he felt like it so I stopped asking him for stuff.
One day he called and said that we should meet and talk about something very important. Out of curiosity, I showed up. You should see this guy on his knees begging me to forgive him. He said he didn’t know what came over him. He made me speak to his dad, and some of his colleagues at work. They all pleaded on his behalf. He wanted me to get back with him so we would all be a family.
I told my parents about it but initially, they didn’t agree. Later, they advised me to give him another chance. Maybe he has really changed. You also owe it to your child to give it another try. I thought about their counsel for quite some time before I agreed to give him a second chance.
When I first took him back, he was all nice and responsible. We were planning a very bright and big future together as husband and wife. I went for the marriage list, and we started planning a grand wedding. Everything was going to be beautiful and perfect.
Before I knew it, pregnancy had paid me another visit. I became so scared of how he might react. But when I told him about it, he was so happy. He said he would do better this time around. He promised me heaven on earth. He did almost everything for us.
Three months into the pregnancy, I couldn’t go to work again. He proposed that I move in with him so we could continue our marriage plans. It sounded like a good idea, so I did. The first month was uneventful. But the second month changed completely. Everything turned upside down. He started acting cold. Then he completely stopped talking to me.
We lived in the same room but the only time he spoke to me was when he insulted me. He started chasing women all over the place again. I couldn’t contain it so I swallowed everything and packed myself back to my father’s house. This time around, I did not tell my parents about his behavior.
I had another boy by God’s grace. When the baby was two months old, he drove all the way to my father’s house and picked us back to his house. He made me believe that he was back to himself but I was in for a show.
He admitted that he had gotten himself a new girlfriend. He posted photos of themselves in hotel rooms. As if that was not enough, he sent me screenshots of their chats. He would speak to her in my presence. Sometimes I had to put on a headset and play loud music to sleep.
One day I asked him to excuse himself when he wants to talk to his girlfriend. He got angry and slapped me so hard, I bled through my nose. This time I told my parents, and they came to talk to us.
After that slap, he got a cane. Any small thing I did to provoke him, he would take the cane and whip me like I was his child. He would do this in front of our first child who is five years old now. Sometimes he’d beat me till our son starts shouting, telling him to stop it. There were times he even pushed his son to the floor. Richard wouldn’t mind whether I was carrying our youngest child at my back, he would beat me, push me against the wall, and even hit the baby’s head on the wall.
For about six months, I starved. It was my mum who was supporting me. I have always wanted to go to his workplace and report him to his superiors but my parents keep talking me out of it. They said he might lose his job. I don’t want that to happen so I haven’t gone through with it.
One time, my elder son told me he hates his father. I cautioned him not to say that again. I admonished him that his father is a good dad. This boy even went to tell his teacher that his father was beating his mother.
I didn’t want to lose my life so I returned to my father’s house. I don’t want to go back to his house again. He says he will only give me money once he sees his kids. I never wish him evil. I only want to free myself from this bitter treatment. Please is it good to report him to his superiors at his workplace? I don’t want him to lose his job but I want to put the fear of God in him.
