I gave it to her once and…

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After my first love, Bernice, broke my heart miserably I became wary of women for a while. However, after a while, I told myself: “If I am too afraid to love again, then I will never meet the person I am meant to be with. After all, the person who broke my heart has even moved on and is happy. So why should I banish myself to a lonely and loveless life because of her betrayal?” That is how I gave myself another chance at love.

The first girl I met after Bernice who stirred something inside me was called Daniela. She was young and very beautiful. In getting to know her, she mentioned that she had never been with anyone. And I was happy to hear that. I promised her: “I will not touch you until we are both sure of this relationship.” She was pleased with my promise. I was working for a private security company when I met her so I barely had time to see her. We were able to date for a whole year without having any problems.

After one year into the relationship, I told my mum: “I met someone. We have been dating for a while now and things are going great.” My mum asked me: “Are you sure about her?” I said, “Yes, I believe she is the one.” “Well, then let’s meet her family. They should know that the two of you are together,” my mum said. I agreed with her. We wanted the relationship to be as transparent as possible. My mum took her number from me and spoke to her: “My son told me about you. While I am looking forward to meeting you, I hope you are as serious about him as he is about you. I don’t want you to break his heart the way his last girlfriend did. She cheated on him. Did he tell you about her?” Daniela assured my mother she truly loved me and she wasn’t going anywhere.

My mum liked her, so we proceeded to introduce ourselves to her parents. After all that was done, I sneaked out of work and went home to go see my girlfriend. I hadn’t seen her in a while so I missed her so much. We had a good time. We got carried away and had our first shuperu. It was good, and she liked it. As time went on, she would ask me to come home and see her. Because of the nature of my job, I was not a free man. Sometimes, I got the opportunity to go home. Other times too, I didn’t get the chance. I explained this to her but she didn’t want to accept it.

All she wanted was for me to come home and make love to her. This made me regret ever touching her, to begin with. No matter how often I sneaked home to go give it to her, she was insatiable. She would make urgent demands for sex even when she knew I wouldn’t be able to come home. After a while, I told her: “I believe the reason you always want me around you is that you are not working. You don’t have anything to keep you busy. So get a job, and let’s see if keeping busy will lower your libido.” So she started hunting for a job.

One day she met a guy who promised her a job. She told me: “Jay is not the one who has the job but he knows someone who has it. So we have fixed a meeting with that person.” When the day of the meeting arrived, Daniela ended up in Jay’s house. They didn’t go and meet anyone. She ended up sleeping with the Jay guy. She tried to hide it from me but I found out. When I confronted her she told me: “We met in town for the meeting but then Jay told me he left an important document at home. He asked me to go home with him to pick it up. He seemed trustworthy so I followed him. But when we got there, he forced himself on me.”

I got angry. “How can you tell me you followed a guy you barely know to his house with that flimsy excuse? Even a fool will not fall for that. Now you are telling me you did not consent to whatever happened between you two?” “Yes,” she insisted, “I wasn’t a willing participant in whatever happened.” I didn’t want this relationship to end like my previous one. I broke up with my ex after I found out she cheated on me. I didn’t give her a chance to explain herself or give her another chance. I wanted to do better with Daniela so I gave her another chance.

After all that, she didn’t get a job, so I encouraged her to further her education. In her first semester, she already had two guys on campus she was dating. When I confronted her she told me: “It’s nothing serious. They were disturbing me so I only said yes to shut them up.” I told her: “There are a lot of effective ways to ward off a man’s pestering. None of it involves dating him. So stop whatever it is you are doing with those guys.” It seemed she stopped talking to them, but to be sure, I cloned her WhatsApp.

Truly, she was no longer talking to those two guys. However, she was talking to Jay, the guy who promised her the job. “You are still talking to the guy who violated you? Why would you do that?” I asked her. She couldn’t give me any answer. So I asked that we break up so she can talk to whomever she wanted without breaking my heart in the process. After the breakup, her family reached out to my family and the issue was resolved. I was asked to give her another chance. So I did.

I have trust issues so I continued to monitor her WhatsApp. About a month ago, I noticed that she started talking to another guy in their school. Judging from their conversations, she was the one making a move on the guy. The guy was ignoring her initially, but she was persistent. She asked the guy if he was dating and he said no. In one of their chats, she asked him, “You always ask how I am doing, and then the conversation ends there. Is that all you have? Won’t you ask me to come and visit you?” The guy responded: “People in my neighborhood like to talk. So, I don’t bring girls to my home.”

Daniela continued, “So you don’t want me to come to your place?” The guy replied: “Don’t worry, I will find a perfect place for us to meet.” Then my girlfriend asked him: “I hope your girlfriend will not beat me.” The guy answered: “I already told you I don’t have a girlfriend.” They have decided to meet this coming Friday. They will leave school together, and he will take her to a place. I don’t know where they are going but I am hurt that the girl I love with my whole heart is forcing herself on another guy. This is my second relationship, and this one has even turned out to be a more brazen cheat than Bernice.

I don’t want to ask her for a breakup, lest our families get involved again. I am looking for a perfect way to leave her life. I have saved enough money from my work and can afford to travel out of the country. So that’s what I want to do. However, I am told I need an invitation from someone living abroad to aid in my visa application process. The thing is, I don’t know anyone who lives abroad to give me that invitation. That’s why I am still here. I need a helper, someone who is willing to take a chance on me and help me travel abroad so I can start my life in a new chapter. I am hoping and praying that true love will find me when I relocate.


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