Now, it is my turn

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We met on a relationship page in one of the social media channels. Someone made a post about a problem they were facing in their relationship and she gave a very good piece of advice to the person. When I saw her comment I thought: “Wow, I want to get to know the person behind this amazing write-up.” So I checked out her profile and sent her a message. I was only interested in becoming her friend. She responded to my message warmly and we got talking from there.

She told me she had a boyfriend right from the moment we started talking, and I respected that. I may not have been interested in dating her but it was good she let me know she was not available. It made me trust her enough to share intimate details of my life with her. My trust in her unlocked her trust in me. She opened up to me about her relationship and some of the problems she was facing. I gave her the best advice I could think of.

As the days went by, we got closer and closer. We always had something to talk about every day. Then one day we were talking when I asked: “How are things going between you and your man? Are you able to resolve some of the problems you shared with me?” “No,” she responded, “We just couldn’t see eye to eye on anything. I had no choice but to break up with him.” “I am sorry to hear that. How are you feeling?” I asked. She told me she was okay and that she did what was best for the situation.

After she broke up with her boyfriend, we started leaning toward each other in a way that was beyond friendship. I did not approach her with the intention to start anything amorous with her but I ended up falling in love with her. She said she was in love with me too. We were both university students. She was on campus while I was in a distance education program. We didn’t have much to offer each other except love and hope. That’s the foundation on which we built our relationship. We had hopes that we would stay together for a very long time. I could not even imagine my life without her. We had problems but they were never enough to tear us apart. There was only one thing that she often did that gave me a lot of concern. She was always on her phone. We would be together and Alice would be busy texting. Sometimes I would ask her: “I am sitting right here with you. So who are you texting?” Her default answer was: “My friends.”

I wanted to set my mind at ease so one night I took her phone while she was asleep. The first messaging app I opened contained nothing. The second one was where all the tea was. I found a chat between her and a certain guy. Their conversation was no ordinary one. The last message my girlfriend sent to this guy was: “I think I am falling in love with you.” I couldn’t understand how she kissed me good night and went to sleep right next to me, only to tell another man she is in love with him. This is someone whose family I was planning to meet.

I didn’t say a word to her about what I saw. I went to sleep and when we woke up the next morning, I still acted as if I hadn’t seen anything. All the while, I acted nice. I was fuming inside of me. I wanted answers but I knew she would lie if I confronted her. So I asked myself: “What have I done to push her into the arms of another man? Is there anything I can do to fix our relationship before it hits the rocks?”

I was determined to make things work so she wouldn’t leave me. I was already caring for, and attentive to, her needs but I doubled my efforts. I was checking up on her almost every two hours just to be sure she was fine and didn’t need anything. As I was doing this, I saw a little change in her behaviour. She didn’t spend as much time on the phone as she used to. This gave me hope that our relationship would work out in the end.

Then one day she called to tell me: “My dad wants to meet my boyfriend. And you are my boyfriend so how soon can we go and meet him?” I embraced the idea of meeting her dad wholeheartedly and we fixed a date that wouldn’t clash with my work schedule. Recently, she asked me for money to get a few stuff she needed urgently. I sent her the money and she was full of thanks. Then I woke up the next morning to a text that read: “I am sorry but this relationship is no longer working for me so I can’t keep seeing you. I wish you all the best in life.” I was confused. “We were just fine yesterday so what was the meaning of this text? I am supposed to meet your dad, remember?” I asked her but she didn’t respond. I called her several times but she never answered. She truly was done with me.

Later, I found out that she went with the other guy to meet her parents. It was after her parents accepted him that she came to break up with me. I was surprised at what she did but I am not hurt. I guess a part of me already knew that our relationship was over long before she ended it. I should have known this would happen. After all, she broke up with someone to be with me. So now “it is my turn” to be left for someone else. My only resolution is that I will love again when the time is right and when the right one comes along. And this time, I pray it works out. 

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